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Stand-by, 2.

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Mix through, and cue on 2.

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The BBC's announced the appointment
of ex-head of Olympic deliverance,

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Ian Fletcher,
as its new Head Of Values.

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Time now for the shipping forecast.

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Superimpose.

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Sure, OK, I get that.
I still get it. No, shut up.

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Monday morning at the
BBC's London headquarters,

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New Broadcasting House.
And already things are happening.

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..what we do here, OK...
No, shut up.

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What we do is we go straight to
Tamsin at IBS.

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OK, yeah, Tasmin, whatever.
Like, she's the only one

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who knows what's happening.

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Like, the others are all
gap year, whatever.

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So potentially serious are things
that Head of BBC Brand,

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Siobhan Sharpe,
from communications giant FUN Media,

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is on her way in physically
and at speed.

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Yeah, OK, so, what SHE does is
she gets Claudia to tweet a denial.

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Like, NOW. OK? Like,
"Strictly is my life," whatever.

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And we retweet the shit out of it,

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like, we totally take out social
media from the air, OK?

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OK, no, shut up, I've got her.
I've got Tamsin coming at me.

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Yeah, Tasmin, yeah, whatever.
OK, yeah, I've got to go.

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Got to go, OK, OK. Bye.

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Yeah. Hey, Tam-smin, how are you?

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Good, yeah, I'm good, thanks.

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So, according to
the BBC News app...

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Don't blame me, OK?
No, I'm not, Neil, I'm just saying.

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Apparently, they're offering her
a deal worth BLEEP million pounds

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over two years. No, I'm sorry.
Thr... BLEEP million pounds?

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The fact is that cannot happen.
That's what it says here.

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No, I'm sorry. We're stuffed, then.
Meanwhile, upstairs,

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what was supposed to be a Renewal
meeting mainly about something

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called "distinctivity" has
spontaneously turned into

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an emergency damage limitation
meeting, mostly about disaster.

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Yes, apparently, it's a circus-based
show they're talking about.

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Circus-based? Apparently,
they're rebooting

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the Cirque de Celebrity format.

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No, sure. Right.
Honestly. No, I'm sorry.

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I mean, what is it with
shows in fucking tents? Well, yes.

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Rumours have surfaced
on Twitter

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that one of the BBC's biggest
faces and co-host

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of Strictly Come Dancing,
Claudia Winkleman,

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could be on the point of leaving
the BBC after being approached

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by rival broadcaster Sk... BLEEP..y
to host a rival show of their own.

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So, I'm on the Mail Online here, OK?

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Right. Blimey. I know.

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Anyway, apparently, a source close
to Tess Daly is saying that

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if Claudia leaves Strictly, then
Tess will go, too, out of loyalty.

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Right.
- OK, no. OK. I'm sorry. Loyalty to what, Lucy?

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That can't happen. I don't know,
it doesn't say. Brilliant.

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I'm not being negative or anything
but we are in

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a very dark place here, guys.
Brilliant. No, I'm sorry, no.

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With Charter
Renewal pending,

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this is the worst possible time
to be facing the prospect

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of a BBC devoid of competitive
celebrity dancing of any kind.

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OK, well, look, the key thing is
that everybody remains calm, and...

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OK. So, hey, guys. Ah, right,
Siobhan. OK, let's do this, OK?

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Yes. Let's nail this beaver to the tree.

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Chronologically, Siobhan may have arrived late
to the meeting but, in other ways,

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she's already ahead of both herself
and everybody else.

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OK, so, I spoke with Claudia's
agent. Right. Brilliant.

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So, here's the thing with this,
here's what it is, OK?

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So, Claudia loves Strictly,
she loves the BBC, whatever. Hurrah.

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Yes, exactly. But the thing
with Claudia is that she wants,

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like, a change of direction at this
point in her bla-di-blah, whatever.

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Right. A change of...
No, still me. Right. Yes.

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So, Claudia's like, um,
"I want to do serious shit."

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You know, like people dying,
whatever.

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And Sk... BLEEP..y are, like,
"You know, that's cool, you can

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"totally do that as well.

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"Like, you can
do whatever you want plus

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"we'll pay you like a sh... BLEEP
load of money at the same time."

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So, when... So, she's like,
"OK, I need headspace here.

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"Like, I need to be in Cornwall,"
whatever. Right. Brilliant.

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So, the headline is
Claudia's in Cornwall at the moment

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thinking it over? Excuse me?
Right, OK...

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OK, the headline, OK, is "Claudia
Winkleman leaves Strictly." OK?

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We've pretty much crashed the BBC.
No, I'm sorry. Well, that's one way

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of looking at it, obviously.
It totally is. OK, but...

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You're going to say something
brilliant now, aren't you?

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Yes. No. No, you are,
I can feel it in my bones.

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No, but before we get locked
into the idea of this being some

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kind of problem,
is it worth stepping back

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and looking at the positives for a
moment? Really? The positives? Yes.

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And yet. Blimey. I mean, for one
thing, it looks as though

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this might not actually be about
money. Well, that's handy

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cos we haven't got any money.
Well, exactly.

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So, that's a good fit straight away.

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As Head Of Values
and chair of the Renewal Group,

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the ability to think the sort
of thoughts under pressure that

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no-one else would even
think of thinking is

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one of Ian Fletcher's
distinguishing characteristics.

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And we know she's at a point where
she's looking for a change

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of direction, maybe perhaps to be
taken a bit more seriously. Sure.

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But, if you think about what
we were supposed to be

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talking about this morning...
Right. Yes. No, sure. Brilliant.

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Just remind me? The distinctivity
audit. Oh, yeah, great.

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As part of the
Charter Renewal process,

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the BBC has been invited to spend
time conducting a special

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distinctivity audit of all
the ways in which its output is

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different from anything else
you've ever seen.

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It's a question of identifying
anything we might have

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in development that's uniquely BBC,
which is

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why I asked Matt to join us
here for this, as Head Of Output.

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Yeah, no, sure. Hey, guys. Yeah.
But what if what Claudia wants

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and what we're looking for turn out
to be exactly the same thing?

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Blimey. Sure.
No, I get that. That could work.

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Cos if we are looking at a
solution and not a problem here,

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we could be looking at a solution
of truly epic proportions.

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No, really, Ian,
don't take this the wrong way

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but this is where we all kind of
want to hug you. Sure. Well... No.

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You the man. Yes, exactly.
No, really. Just to say

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you're safe with me, OK? Yes, good.

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Meanwhile, elsewhere in the building,

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development executive Izzy Gould is
busy thinking about ideas. Hi.

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Oh, hi, how are you? So, have you
seen this? No, what?

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No, I thought not.

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But although she may not
know it yet

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she's about to realise that she
may well be involved

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in enough developments
already for the moment.

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Oh, Jesus, no. Yeah.
When did this...?

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I don't know, I just saw it now. No!
It's already trending. Shit!

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It's not good news.

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After Hugh Grant was asked
for a selfie on a recent visit to

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New Broadcasting House,
his people have decided to become

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incensed that he was misled
into endorsing an online campaign

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for a BBC product
when he thought he was just giving

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a selfie to a slightly unusual
but apparently harmless intern.

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OK, so, first of all, it's nothing
to do with me, OK? What?

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Like, it wasn't my idea.
No, I know it wasn't... But also...

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It was mine! No. It was my idea.

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No, I knew you'd say that,
that's why I came up here.

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In the circumstances,
they're demanding not only that his

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image be immediately removed from
the campaign, but that the BBC make

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a charitable donation of £1,475,000
to the Worldwide Wildlife Fund.

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A pound for every YouTube hit
so far. OK, OK...

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OK, so this is really serious, OK?
I know! Like, it's really serious.

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I know it is! OK, but it isn't your
fault. What do you mean,

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it wasn't my fault?
Of course it's my fault.

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OK, you're panicking. I'm not
panicking. Of course I'm panicking.

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Whose idea was it...

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to ask Hugh Grant for a selfie?

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OK, no. Was it your idea? No, I'm
sorry, I'm not doing that. You can.

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You absolutely have to.
I'm not, I can't! I can't do that.

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I mean, basically,
what we're talking about is

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the sort of programmes you wouldn't
see other broadcasters making. Yeah.

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Exactly. Really? The sort of thing
no-one's going to watch.

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No, I'm talking about the sort
of thing only the BBC can do.

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Yeah, that's what I just said,
isn't it? Very good.

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Back in Renewal,

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it's becoming clear that coming up
with a list of distinctively BBC

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projects currently in development
might not be as easy as it sounds.

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Sorry, what's this? Right, OK,
Simon, do you want to...?

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Oh, yes, no, sorry, Lucy, sorry,
Ian, brilliant,

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it's just a card for Ben and Jerry,
that's all. Right. A leaving card?

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Yes. Right. Oh, I know. Who knew
they weren't here? Brilliant. Who?

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Obviously I've no idea how these
things work, but what's happened...

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In the meantime, it seems
that after interviewing

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both Ben and Jerry for a new single
post, it's been decided that,

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in the spirit of more of less,
the new post itself is to be

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reimagined as not existing
going forward.

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..reimagined as not existing,
going forward.

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"Reimagined as not existing?"
Exactly. It's terribly bad luck.

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If it's any help, Lucy,
I didn't know what to put,

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so in the end I put best of luck,
guys.

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I don't know if that helps.
Yes, I'm not sure. No, probably not.

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Right, OK, well. Yes,
so, anyway. Yes, exactly, yes.

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More of less issues aside,

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Ian's challenge now is to marshal
his remaining troops towards

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an outcome that could just solve
the BBC's distinctivity issues and

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its Claudia Winkleman problem in one
joint solution to end all solutions.

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So, yes, I mean, have we actually
GOT anything in development?

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Yes, exactly,
have we actually got anything?

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00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:26,480
Yeah, sure that's great. So, I
guess, something to think about it

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00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:29,980
at this point, I mean, I don't know,
I may be wrong about this is genre.

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00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,460
Right. Brilliant. Genre?
I'm just putting it out there. Yes.

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So, I guess what I'm asking,
is it worth thinking, you know,

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what area are we in here?
Drama, factual, scripted...? Yes.

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Also just in terms of reach, is
it...? OK, OK. I'm so bored of this.

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Bored? Yeah, like hashtag -
face down in my soup. Well...

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So, like, here's the thing
with this, OK?

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00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,720
So, like,
this is not a safety drill, OK?

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00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,200
The engines are like, totally on
fire here. Brilliant.

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00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,210
No, I'm sorry. Yes. The cabin just
filled with smoke. No, not that.

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00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:56,495
OK, so what you need to do is you
guys need to get into a BBC taxi

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to Cornwall like, now, and you
need to lovebomb Claudia to death.

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00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,160
Well, that's...
A BBC taxi to Cornwall?

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00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:04,760
Sure, or else you guys are flying
a stone turkey one way

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00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:08,120
to oblivionsville here. Right.
Yes, no, brilliant, very clear.

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00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:12,820
It's March, and
light returns to the high Arctic,

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00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,820
sweeping away
four months of darkness.

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A polar bear stirs.

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She has been in her den
the whole winter.

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00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:26,780
Her emergence marks the beginning
of spring.

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00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:32,680
After months of confinement
underground, she toboggans

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00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:39,220
down the slope, perhaps to clean
her fur, perhaps for sheer joy.

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00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,780
Whoa.

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00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:45,020
Will... Her cubs gaze out at
their bright new world

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00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,380
for the very first time.
Will. Hey, hey, Izzy.

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00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,640
Yeah, how are you?
I'm good, thanks. I'm good.

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00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:54,360
Cool. Yeah, so I'm watching this
for Ian Fletcher. Yes.

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00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:57,260
Yeah, pretty cool. Yes. David
Attenborough's such a cool guy.

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00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,700
Yes, he is, yes.
I don't want to bother you...

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00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,960
No worries, yeah, cool.
But I just...

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00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:05,590
With the whole super selfie thing...
Yeah, I know, mental. Well, no...

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00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:09,405
I don't know, like, a million hits.
I didn't even know who he was. No.

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00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:13,220
But when you spoke to him, when you
actually asked him to say "Me"...

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00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,540
Yeah? Did you tell him
what it was for?

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00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,700
Yeah, I don't know. I definitely
told him it was for you.

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00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,940
For me? Yeah.

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00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,580
OK, that's great, Will,
thanks. OK, cool.

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00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:35,130
Yeah, so, people think polar bears
can't smell underwater.

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00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:38,580
It's, like no, they totally can.
Yes. There's this bit...

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00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,760
Actually, Will,
I'd better get off. OK.

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00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:43,260
But, thanks, that's been really
helpful. No worries.

217
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,780
Yeah, no worries, yeah. Cool.

218
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:25,540
OK, what about, and stay with me on
this, OK, guys, but what about

219
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,600
Claudia Winkleman's History Of The
Elephant. Right.

220
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:30,580
History of the elephant? I know what
you're thinking, a bit left-field.

221
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:31,600
That is what I was thinking.

222
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,520
Meanwhile,
it's tomorrow morning,

223
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:36,150
and Head Of Output Matt Taverner
has gathered together

224
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,680
some of his finest brains
for an important meeting.

225
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,390
But, also, it's like, a dead
serious subject for Claudia... Sure.

226
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:44,100
Cos they have, like, their own
funerals and everything, you know?

227
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,420
Sure, that's great. I get where
you're coming from

228
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,520
with the History Of thing.
But I don't know.

229
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:51,610
I guess what I'm asking... I
guess... Part of my job is to...

230
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,700
Their mission is to
come up with programme ideas

231
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,640
that might address Claudia
Winkleman's need

232
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:59,630
to be taken more seriously whilst
also addressing the BBC's

233
00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,565
distinctivity and Charter Renewal
issues in one fell swoop.

234
00:12:02,665 --> 00:12:05,892
Or is there something out there
that might give us distinctive

235
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:09,220
and serious and, I don't know,
quirky and Hinterland in one hit...

236
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,800
Yes...where the idea of BBCness

237
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,580
is kind of a cold open and a leave
behind at the same time?

238
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,880
Right. Yes. Yes. Do you know what,

239
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,660
Matt, that's really interesting,
Matt.

240
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,400
What about, is there something...?

241
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,990
OK. Claudia Winkleman's
History Of Water. OK. Water?

242
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:23,480
I don't know, it's like more
BBC somehow. No, sure.

243
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:25,990
I don't know, do you not think
it's a bit dry for Claudia? Dry?

244
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,500
Sure. She's so gorgeous. The History
Of Water? Well, no, yes,

245
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,600
I see what you're saying.
OK, so maybe we should...

246
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,600
Claudia Winkleman's History Of
Fruit. Yeah. No, OK.

247
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:34,980
We should go past the whole History
Of thing. Yeah. Yes.

248
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,940
OK, well, if it's BBCness
we're talking about,

249
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,800
then what about On Your Bike, then?

250
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:43,660
Ooh, now. OK. On Your Bike? Yes.
You're joking.

251
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,280
In its original format,
I mean. Sure.

252
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:48,900
You know, as a serious, proper
chat show for Claudia but, just,

253
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,240
you know, on wheels. No, sure.

254
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,820
Cos the thing about that was,
like I kept trying to say,

255
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,140
was it's so BBC. Genius. I don't
believe this.

256
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,080
Really interesting. My God, Izzy.

257
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,020
Yeah, no, sure, Izzy, that's great.

258
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,940
It's the end of the day,
and a number of people

259
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,740
are already gathering in the shared
experience space

260
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,940
for a special ceremony
to celebrate the end

261
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,680
of Ben and Jerry's time at the BBC.

262
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:29,500
I'm not being funny or anything but
I can't be doing with goodbyes. No.

263
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,720
No. No. Maybe it's my childhood or
something,

264
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:33,840
but they always end up
getting to me in the end.

265
00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:36,580
Yes, no, very good, Tracey.
They've been with the BBC

266
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,940
from their arrival as junior
research executives

267
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,300
all the way through to their
departure as people

268
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,880
whose jobs no longer exist.

269
00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:45,620
So it's appropriate that a block
of an entire hour has been booked

270
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,000
out on the Syncopati
space booking system

271
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,460
in order to speed them on their way.
Yes, anyway, is someone

272
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,320
going to say something?
Yes, sorry, about what?

273
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:55,220
About Ben and Jerry? Oh, yes, of
course. That's brilliant. No, no...

274
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,780
Now, listen, you'll know how you
want to deal with it...

275
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,300
No, I wasn't... Yes, exactly.
But the good news is

276
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,840
we've got them these as a surprise.

277
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,490
Right, what are they?
It's interesting, isn't it?

278
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:07,040
We don't even know what we've got
them? I mean,

279
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,740
I've no idea how these things work,
but I suppose that's part

280
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,080
of the surprise, is it?
Yes, probably. Genius.

281
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,320
Ben and Jerry's
unexpected departure

282
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:17,940
may herald the dawn of a new
more of less era for the BBC,

283
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,420
even though no-one really knows
what that means.

284
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:24,120
But if there's a new feeling
of uncertainty in the air,

285
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:27,100
it seems that Lucy has decided
that she might as well after all

286
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,720
apply for the new post of
Head Of Empowerment, even though

287
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,510
no-one really knows what that means
either. I won't get it, obviously.

288
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,185
No, it's really good. Is it? I don't
know. I was going to ask you,

289
00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:37,742
though I probably shouldn't be
asking you this, but do you know

290
00:14:37,842 --> 00:14:40,300
if Anna's on the panel? Anna?
It's fine if you don't want to...

291
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,200
No, no, it's fine. I don't think
she is, no. Right.

292
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,060
I mean, nobody tells me anything,
obviously, but, as far as I'm aware,

293
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,520
she's not, no. Right.
You're not on it? Me? No.

294
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,460
Cos, I mean, right... Thank God!
Yes. Anyway, if I was, I suppose

295
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,500
I'd have to declare an interest,
wouldn't I?

296
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,980
Right. I mean... Yes. No, yes. Yes.

297
00:14:56,300 --> 00:15:00,060
OK. OK, thank you. Thank you.

298
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,880
Brilliant. Yes, no, very good.

299
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:07,340
Who was it who said life is
a series of letting go? Anyway...

300
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,760
Do you know what, Simon, I want to

301
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:10,680
say Elton John. Brilliant.
Elton John?

302
00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:13,480
What do I know? But, no, a moment to
say a few words about

303
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,900
why we're all here, of course, and
not just any old words, either.

304
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,120
Ladies and gentlemen,
current Head Of Values

305
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:22,700
and all-round Captain Renewal
himself, Ian Fletcher.

306
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:30,580
Right, yes. I mean, thanks, Simon.
Hurrah. So, yes...

307
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:34,380
As Simon very much says,
here we are. Hurrah.

308
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:38,710
So, what to say about Ben and Jerry
that hasn't been said before?

309
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:41,980
I might as well be honest and
confess that when I first arrived,

310
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,840
a bit like with Ant and Dec,

311
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:46,980
I wasn't completely confident
about which one was which.

312
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,240
Shame. Shame. Brilliant.

313
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:50,600
But it didn't take me
long to realise that,

314
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,030
just like with Ant and Dec,
it doesn't actually matter. Hurrah.

315
00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:57,460
In the end, that's not the point.
The point is they both share

316
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,960
the ability to make whatever

317
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:02,320
it is they do look genuinely easy
whilst at the same time making

318
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,860
everyone around them look better
than they would have done otherwise.

319
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,860
Yes. And that's a very rare quality
to have. Yes, it is.

320
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,420
And, with that in mind,
we've got you these,

321
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,360
just as a token really, of...

322
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:16,300
Well, really of everything we feel
and have felt about you

323
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,820
in the past and will continue to
feel, of course,

324
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,340
in the future, as you seek out
different challenges

325
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,700
in new places
with very different outcomes.

326
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,320
Brilliant. Yes, no, very good.

327
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:29,460
So I'd ask us all to join me
in raising a toast to Ben and Jerry.

328
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,340
Ben and Jerry. To moving onwards.
- Moving onwards.

329
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,420
Brilliant. So, that's all good.

330
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,980
It's another day at New
Broadcasting House,

331
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,380
but not just any other day.

332
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,480
Claudia! Oh, hi.

333
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:14,380
Today is Winkleman day.
Claudia, Claudia, Claudia.

334
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,540
What can I say?
Welcome to the pleasure dome.

335
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,040
After wide-ranging
discussions between her agent

336
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:21,440
and the BBC, Claudia Winkleman
has agreed to come in

337
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,510
and talk about On Your Bike
as a potential vehicle for her,

338
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,580
and Simon Harwood himself is on hand
in reception in order

339
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,480
to take her as seriously
as possible.

340
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,840
I'm so sorry,
I'm really embarrassed about this,

341
00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:34,980
but I don't think I actually know
your name. Oh, no, God! Sorry.

342
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,200
No, of course, yes, listen, why
would you? I wouldn't be

343
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,220
bothered with it myself if it wasn't
for going to the doctors, and so on.

344
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,980
Right. Simon. Simon? Simon Harwood,
Director Of... I don't know,

345
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,000
Strategic Governance or something
like that. OK.

346
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:48,290
This is Tasmin. Hi. My agent. Yes,
of course, welcome, Tasmin. Yes.

347
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:51,580
Listen, I know we haven't met but,
honestly, I feel like I want

348
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,500
to thank you for making our lives
that much brighter with,

349
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,960
you know with...
Yes. Thanks. So, shall we go up?

350
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,460
Yes, of course, no, yes, very good.
So, for what it's worth,

351
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,200
I suppose I'd better get you guys
signed in.

352
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:04,260
So, we signed in. Right. Brilliant.
Yes. I've done that.

353
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,320
We were waiting to be collected.
Ah! Fabulous.

354
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,260
I tell you what, she's not your
agent for nothing, Claudia, is she?

355
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:11,620
No. Shall we go through,
straight through the doors?

356
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,980
So, buckle up, guys, we've got
Claudia inbound. Right.

357
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:14,960
Where is everybody? Who?

358
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:17,160
She's coming at us. Yes. I don't
know. Where's Matt?

359
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:19,800
Matt? Yes. Yes, no, I don't know.
Meanwhile, upstairs,

360
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:23,350
preparations for the crucial meeting
are taking some kind of shape.

361
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,900
It's to be chaired by Head Of Output
Matt Taverner, who isn't here.

362
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,040
Oh, my God. Right, OK. What?

363
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,810
Have you not heard? Heard what? No.
He's gone. Who has?

364
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,480
No, shut up, David, please.
Oh, my God. I don't know.

365
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,920
With the winds of change
blowing through the BBC, it looks as

366
00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:41,250
if one of the really big trees might
have been blown over completely.

367
00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:44,580
OK, so, guys, Matt Taverner is not
going to be coming to the meeting,

368
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,460
I'm afraid. Right. He's gone. Yes.

369
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,240
Bummer. What do you mean, he's gone?

370
00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:51,300
I don't know. He's gone to Netflix.
He's gone to Netflix, yes. No way!

371
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,740
What do you mean, he's gone to
Netflix? What, for a meeting?

372
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,280
No, he's gone. Right, OK.
Matt Taverner's gone Netflix! Cool.

373
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,970
We're announcing it later this
morning. It's, like, oh, my God!

374
00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:01,635
We LOVE Netflix. We've been given
a statement to put out. I mean,

375
00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:04,300
do you know anything about this,
Anna? This? Yes. When? What? No.

376
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,380
OK, where's Simon?
I don't know. No, right.

377
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:11,740
You're mad. You're actually mad. It
wasn't his fault. What? It was mine.

378
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:13,960
What is it with him?

379
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,280
Elsewhere in the building,
Jack Patterson

380
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:19,480
and Izzy Gould have taken some
time out to have an argument.

381
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,380
It was my fault for not bringing him
up to speed with all of the...

382
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,080
You know, all of the issues
beforehand.

383
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,820
There's no speed slow enough
for that guy to be brought up to.

384
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,500
With the BBC facing a demand
that it makes a £1.5 million

385
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,960
charitable donation to
the Worldwide Wildlife Fund

386
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:36,090
following its misuse of the
film star Hugh Grant's image,

387
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:39,120
Izzy has been asked to write
a formal report on the incident

388
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,070
for urgent submission to BBC
director-general Tony Hall's office.

389
00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:45,020
OK, so I'm going to tell them,
if you won't. No. I'm not going

390
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,140
to let you do this. This has nothing
to do with you.

391
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,300
It has nothing to do with you,
either.

392
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,460
It's too important, it's all wrong.

393
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:57,090
But, meanwhile, at the same time,
unbeknown to Izzy, Jack,

394
00:19:57,190 --> 00:20:00,700
or anyone else, Will Humphries
is out on the streets of London

395
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,540
on a secret mission of his own.

396
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,520
Using virtually all
of his initiative, he's come to

397
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:19,340
a small recording studio in Soho
in pursuit of the kind of solution

398
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,500
to the Hugh Grant crisis
that only he could have thought of.

399
00:20:23,820 --> 00:20:27,650
'Yeah, hi?' Yeah, hi, yeah,
it's Will Humphries? 'Right...'

400
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:31,580
So, I'm personal assistant
Ian Fletcher. 'Ian Fletcher?'

401
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,060
He's, like,
Head Of Values at the BBC. 'OK.'

402
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:45,800
Yeah, hi, yeah?
Hiya, how can I help? Yeah.

403
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:48,480
Can I speak to David Attenborough?
David Attenborough?

404
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:52,780
Yeah. Right. Yeah, cos he's doing,
like, I don't know, recording stuff,

405
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,260
like, for Fragile Planet Earth. OK.
Yeah, cos I found out. OK.

406
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,660
Do you want to take a seat?

407
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:01,060
OK, yeah, no worries. Cool.

408
00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,800
Here we go, here they are,
The A-Team. Right.

409
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:30,100
So, guys, look who I found
in reception. Yes, exactly. Hi.

410
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,560
Meanwhile, back at New
Broadcasting House,

411
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:35,000
Simon has finally met and greeted
Claudia Winkleman

412
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:37,370
all the way up to the sixth floor.
No, but, listen, have fun

413
00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,740
and just remember that everything's
possible in the best

414
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,560
of all possible worlds.
Yes, exactly. Genius.

415
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:45,530
OK, right. Good-oh. This is going
to be so fun. Yes, Simon. Yes?

416
00:21:45,630 --> 00:21:48,895
With the introductions
overdone, it's time for the serious

417
00:21:48,995 --> 00:21:52,160
business to begin, but Ian is
becoming aware that the Claudia

418
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:55,820
Winkleman issue may not be the only
BBC story unfolding this morning.

419
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,440
What's happening? Yes, in terms
of...? Matt Taverner not here.

420
00:21:58,540 --> 00:22:00,960
God, yes, no. Apparently, he's gone
to Netflix. It's turning into

421
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:03,860
one of those mornings, isn't it? How
come everybody else seems to know

422
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,220
about this apart from me? Yes, no,
very good. I tell you what,

423
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,480
why don't you just pop by when
you've got a minute and maybe

424
00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:11,060
we can just...maybe we can just
have a bit of a general catch-up.

425
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,220
Yes. Righty ho. Yes, good.

426
00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:19,950
Cos, in the end, and this is just
a thought I had, OK, but, basically,

427
00:22:20,050 --> 00:22:24,260
imagine Carpool Karaoke but serious
with no singing and on a bike.

428
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,940
Right. Yes. We love serious.
Yes, exactly. Genius.

429
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:29,680
At last, after all the
build-up,

430
00:22:29,780 --> 00:22:31,520
Operation Winkleman's
finally underway.

431
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,900
No, I think in many ways I think
it's a shame Izzy Gould

432
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,520
couldn't be with us this morning.
Yes.

433
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:38,360
Because she's the one who developed
this. Yes, no, lovely Izzy.

434
00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:41,350
In the unavoidable absence
of Head Of Output Matt Taverner

435
00:22:41,450 --> 00:22:44,285
to make the pitch for On Your Bike
as the perfect BBC vehicle

436
00:22:44,385 --> 00:22:47,112
for Claudia, and no shortage of
others willing to step into

437
00:22:47,212 --> 00:22:49,940
his cleats and run with the idea,
it's important that someone

438
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,080
takes control to steer
the meeting onto solid ground.

439
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:56,740
We've always looked on this
as almost a classical BBC idea. Yes.

440
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,640
Sure. You know, going right back to
informing, educating...

441
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:02,540
No, sure, so that's when we
had our Ulrika moment. Yes. Sorry?

442
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,680
No, I think...

443
00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:06,850
Claudia would totally kill in, like,
a chat show kind of vibe. OK.

444
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:10,475
Like, she's basically Michael Palin
in heels, right? Michael Palin?

445
00:23:10,575 --> 00:23:13,687
Yes. Stop it! Do you mean Michael
Parkinson? Yes. No, sure, whatever.

446
00:23:13,787 --> 00:23:16,733
I mean, it's a no-brainer. So, just
to save time, Claudia has actually

447
00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:19,780
read the treatment. Have you really,
Claudia? Yes, I have. Yes. Genius.

448
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,940
Shall we just tell you what she
likes about it and we can

449
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,900
start from there? Yes, I think
that's a really...

450
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,660
Yes, exactly.
No, sure, I'm good with that.

451
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:28,800
Meanwhile, across town,

452
00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:31,220
Will's secret operation
is still active.

453
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,240
Hi. Oh, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah.

454
00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,800
Hi, I'm Tony Dixon,
producer of Fragile Planet Earth.

455
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,830
Yeah, I know, Fragile Planet Earth,
yeah. The bonobos are mental.

456
00:23:38,930 --> 00:23:41,860
Yeah, cool. Yes, I gather you're
wanting to speak to Sir David.

457
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,680
Yeah, cool, yeah,
Sir David, yeah, cool.

458
00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:46,320
Yeah, can I ask, is this
something he knows about?

459
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:49,630
Sir David? Yeah. No. Right. No, cos
that's why I need to see him.

460
00:23:49,730 --> 00:23:52,885
It's really important. Yeah. I mean,
I don't want to disappoint you.

461
00:23:52,985 --> 00:23:56,140
No, me neither. But I've got to say,
we're actually really busy today.

462
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,640
Yeah, me too. Really up against it.

463
00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:59,960
So I don't think I can ask him to
come out of the session

464
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:03,100
for something unscheduled like this.
OK. I'm really sorry. That's OK.

465
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,120
I mean, you could maybe
try his agent's e-mail.

466
00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:09,040
Maybe go down that route.
No, that's OK. I'll wait.

467
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:12,940
Yeah. I should say to you that
I have no idea what time the session

468
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,240
will actually finish. OK, cool.

469
00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:16,200
But I do know,
one thing I know for certain,

470
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,580
is that he's not coming out of there
for a very, very long time. OK.

471
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,180
And I can't give you any assurance
that he'll speak to you

472
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,780
when he does. OK, cool.
Thanks.

473
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,700
Right. OK.

474
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,010
So, Claudia gets a show
and we all get the Fit With Claudia,

475
00:24:36,110 --> 00:24:38,520
so I'm going to put those in
the positive column. Yes, exactly.

476
00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:42,460
Cool. Yeah. Tick. Cos I've sort of
done celebrity, I've done fluffing.

477
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,320
Right, yes.
I know, tell me about it.

478
00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:46,790
Back at New Broadcasting
House, it appears as if

479
00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:49,260
things might be going better than
anyone expected

480
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:50,760
on a difficult morning for the BBC.

481
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:52,970
So, you probably know Claudia's
being asked to look at

482
00:24:53,070 --> 00:24:55,180
a lot of stuff at the moment.
Of course, yes. Exactly.

483
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,240
Sure.
- But appearances can be deceptive.

484
00:24:57,340 --> 00:24:59,200
One of the things that
works about this for Claudia

485
00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:02,330
is that there's nothing else like it
out there at the moment. Well, yes.

486
00:25:02,430 --> 00:25:05,460
No way. Exactly. It's being sold
to us as a stand-alone proposition.

487
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:06,880
Sure. Yes, exactly, yes.

488
00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:09,500
So, I think this is an opportunity
for you to be upfront with us

489
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,660
about that. Right.

490
00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:17,100
I'm sorry, I think you're going to
have to help us with that, Tasmin.

491
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,920
Claudia has heard that
the BBC is developing

492
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,940
a very similar idea to On Your Bike
for its daytime schedules

493
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,480
with Amanda Holden as presenter.

494
00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:28,140
Amanda Holden? Yes.
OK, no, I'm sorry. Lovely Amanda.

495
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,560
The fact is, no, I'm sorry.

496
00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:31,960
I mean, feel free to correct me,
anyone, but I'm pretty sure

497
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:36,580
I can say with some confidence that
that's not true. Yes, exactly. OK.

498
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,100
Yay. Just out of interest, Claudia,
where did you hear that?

499
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,680
From Amanda. Right. The Amanda?
Yes.

500
00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:46,880
It's starting to look as
if either Claudia's apparent

501
00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:50,300
intelligence is fake or someone
from within the BBC has been

502
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,780
quietly developing an almost
identical show

503
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,160
to On Your Bike without
telling anyone.

504
00:25:55,260 --> 00:25:57,240
Amanda Holden's Cycling Shorts
or something.

505
00:25:57,340 --> 00:26:00,390
Amanda Holden's Cycling Shorts?
OK, no, I'm sorry. Right, yes...

506
00:26:00,490 --> 00:26:03,440
I mean, I love Amanda, we get on
really well and everything...

507
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:06,260
Do you know what, can I just say
that's really interesting, Tasmin.

508
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:07,340
Right, OK. Bummer.

509
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,880
Hey. Hi, yeah. How can I help?
Yeah, cos I was wondering

510
00:26:24,980 --> 00:26:27,790
if you know how much longer Sir
David Attenborough will be? Right.

511
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,700
It's cool, I don't mind waiting.
I think you might have missed him,

512
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,540
I'm afraid. Missed him? Yeah, cos
the session's actually over.

513
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,800
No, but I've been here
all the time. Yeah, I know.

514
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:39,100
Like, I haven't even been to the
toilet. Yeah, there's, like,

515
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,280
a back entrance. Right.

516
00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:44,540
I'm guessing they probably went out
that way. OK. I'm sorry. OK, cool.

517
00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:24,060
Back at New Broadcasting
House, it's the end of a day

518
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,920
which has left Head Of Values
Ian Fletcher

519
00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:29,820
with some things he'd like to talk
to Head Of Strategic Governance

520
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,440
Simon Harwood about.
Such as what the hell is going on.

521
00:27:32,540 --> 00:27:35,160
Ah, yes, brilliant. Is this a good
time? Yes, no, brilliant.

522
00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:38,380
Come on in.
- Luckily, Simon himself is still in his office,

523
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,020
busy putting a positive gloss
on things.

524
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,660
Yes, I mean, I don't know
what it is,

525
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,040
but five minutes with your saddle

526
00:27:43,140 --> 00:27:45,620
at the end of the day... Yes.
..just clears the pipes somehow.

527
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,720
Yes. Yes, no, jolly good.
Shall we sit soft?

528
00:27:47,820 --> 00:27:49,820
No, thanks. No, OK.
I'm happy standing hard.

529
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,480
Yes, no, jolly good.

530
00:27:51,580 --> 00:27:53,480
Do you want to take that?
No. No, OK, fine.

531
00:27:53,580 --> 00:27:57,100
Well, no, listen, I've no idea how
this more of less stuff works

532
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,400
and you'll know how you want
to feel about it...

533
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,340
It seems that the BBC is
shortly to announce a major

534
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,600
senior management simplification
which follows

535
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:08,060
the pattern of encouraging
more staff to apply for fewer jobs

536
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,240
by abolishing the ones
they've already got.

537
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:12,840
In this case, the existing
posts of Head Of Output,

538
00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:16,160
Director Of Better, and
Head Of Values are to be abolished

539
00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:19,180
and replaced by a single new post of
Director Of Purpose, going forward.

540
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,660
..Director Of Purpose, going
forward. Director Of Purpose?

541
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,640
Yes, no, I mean, I guess,
essentially, it's a pretty

542
00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:26,620
simple idea. Is it? Well, I guess it
would be, with the simplification,

543
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,220
wouldn't it? Right, OK. Do you know,
I'm going to put these down.

544
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,960
I feel a bit of a fool standing
here like this.

545
00:28:31,060 --> 00:28:33,900
How long have you known about this,
Simon? No, I know, brilliant.

546
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,320
Frankly, it's pretty much
a full-time job just keeping up

547
00:28:36,420 --> 00:28:39,260
with things, these days, isn't it?
I mean, really. Does Anna know?

548
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,280
Ah, yes, now, with Anna...
Obviously, Matt knew.

549
00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:44,020
Yes, now, with that, listen,
I've no idea how Anna works. No.

550
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,680
And what happens if
I don't apply for it?

551
00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:49,620
Ah, now, no, I can't hear that.
What? I can't hear it. Say you will.